Perspective Is Freedom

It's Mothering Sunday, March 30th 2014. I'm sat in a room with four mothers, the eldest of whom is one of the greatest mother figures I've ever personally known. She's 94.5 years of age, and beside her sits her daughter, and beside that daughter sits that daughter's daughter, and beside that daughter sits that daughter's daughter, and on that daughter's lap sits that daughter's 4 month old daughter, cooing and clutching at her Great Great Grandmother's arm. Yep, I'm describing to you 5 living generations of one family. My own family. My niece, my sister, my mum, my Nanna, & my great Nana sat up in her bed, the metaphorical throne of this wonderful little family tree. What a poignant and heart-warming moment. I wanted to freeze time for a good long while, and just sit and watch them hold each other's hands, share stories and laughter, and sadly, but not regretfully, tears. It was sorta surreal. And so I did - I took this. 5 h...

I was doing some photocopying for a customer at work & I had no idea what I was copying but I glanced at the content of one particular page. I saw this: "In Chinese, the word for disaster is the same as opportunity " I swear, the Chinese impress me so often with their wise ways. Look up Chinese proverbs & you'll be amazed to find your fave quotes amongst them. I read how with their culture being based upon yin & yang, everything must be balanced.. so for something to be negative, it must offer a positive. Right down to their words. I love the way language works. If I had ever gone through with my plans to go to university, English is what I would have studied without a doubt. Maybe I will yet! In my opinion though, as complex as it is, the English language can be straight forward & dull in comparison with others. For instance, we have one or two words for love. LOVE , that phenomenon that you can never explain, the emanating feeling ...

I keep on having to teach myself a little lesson. It goes like this: You don't have to attach yourself to every person that leaves a mark on your life. Not everyone is 'longterm' material. Some people are meant to be fleeting accquaintances, & sure, they are great accquaintances, but then they leave. You learn from them, from what they give you, or don't give you. It's okay to let go of those people. Then others, they were built to stay. They become like family. You could go years apart, everything around you could change, but when you're reunited, the last time you saw them feels like yesterday.  They're the ones to hold onto. Or maybe you don't even need to hold onto them? It may be an effortless connection. They're the people you can attach yourself to, because there is a mutual love. But any connections that take effort to hold up... When you're fighting for normality... They're the ones you can say goodbye to. You enjoyed i...

In this daydream, I'd like it to be raining, and I'd like to be in a forest in the mountains, and I'd like to find a cliff and sit on the edge looking down over a town, maybe, stuffing my face with said donuts. This is because I'm feeling low, ohhh so low, and that mental image makes me feel happy... Being above the business of everyday life, all futile stress far far below, the clouds at eyeline taking my worry with them as they drift away. Doesn't it sound delightful? Soppy, but delightful. I feel heavy! So heavy and sunken. Like a boat carrying too much weight, being dragged down and filling with water, becoming too overloaded to stay afloat; a bird carrying a victim of prey too large to stay in flight, choosing either to slowly lose grip on the catch, or keep its grip on the catch and drop height swiftly. Paint my nails black and call me an emo, but I'm down in the dumps. Everything gets to me so easily! Granted, it's thaaaat tiiiime ...

Last night I couldn't sleep because I felt so miserable, after deciding to go to bed to try and sleep because I felt so miserable. Just one of those nights, I guess. I wasn't feeling ungrateful; just frustrated at being stuck. Frozen where I am. So much ambition, a decent amount of talent if I may so, and I have no idea where to take it. Utterly directionless. Desperately trying to relax and sleep, I had melodies and lyrics that I've created going round and round in my head, irritated at the irony, unable to shut off. I'm not unhappy with life, but I'm unhappy with feeling bewildered. I'm not quite in control, and it makes me feel a little hopeless.. Even though I'm not. Does this make any sense? Like I said, I'm not ungrateful about anything I have. I am most thankful and fully aware of how blessed I am. I think the thing I am most annoyed with is, all of that blessing and love poured into me that I give out, most of the time it's just hitting...

Hello there, and welcome to my first official blog post. I do have another blog (zoetinytall.tumblr.com) but all I post on there are short, random musings and a lot of aesthetically pleasing images. Here, I plan to go into depth. I'll share with you a whole lot of thoughts you'd be happy never having read. My aim is that you spend time comprehending my entries and at the end find yourself thinking 'I could've used my time more wisely by attempting to count the lines on my forefinger print'. However, on some level, I know you'll find yourself mildly entertained. You're entertained even now, well aware you're wasting precious time, but it's 'car crash reading'. You don't want to carry on, you want to click the little red button in the right hand corner, but would you look at that! You're still here. You want to know what follows. I created this blog approximately twenty three minutes ago, not to have ready for a rainy day, but to g...